Bigs and Wedge adventures
by The Dark Denizen
Summary: Join Biggs and Wdge as the travel to random universes, with the help of Alies and the most unlikly people, they will find Fame, Riches, and a way Rated T for swearing and TGing as well as some sexual humor(not much)
1. Chapter 1

Deep in the lands of Galbadia two brave heroes adventured in search of Fame and vast rich-  
"Wedge! would you stop monaloging!, its ad enough these branches are in the way."  
Yes while Wedge is correct the two are in the Galbadia region looking for Riches they are very far off.  
"Yes sir sorry" sayed Wedge saluting. Biggs turned around "why are you still saluting? we arn't in the galbadian Military anymore, i'm nolonger your superior officer!"  
Wedge thought for amoment then responded " well sir i thik its just natural to do what you say. and that we're destined to be together."  
Biggs stared "You scare me sometimes Wedge, now help me get these vines out of the way."  
"yes sir!"  
"it was nice of the Military to give us these repainted suits."  
"yeah i feel naked without my uniform"  
"i hear yah, they also had him in nice colors too, i look good in purple don't i?"  
"goes with your eyes sir"  
"you've never seen my eyes-oh there we go thre giving away"

As the vines moved what stood before the former Galbadian soldiers was a large temple.  
a forboding presence came from it, filling them with chills.  
"Sir i'm hearing that voice again"  
"just take your pills after we're done with this"

As the two entered the temple the stones beneath there feet echode with sounds.  
they stepped into a large main hall, dust and cobwebs were everywhere.  
a door led off into the main treasure chamber, which seemed too easy.  
"this is obviously a trap" he exclaimed, he turned to Wedge "Wedge go stand in the hallway"  
"yes sir" Wedge ran into across the hallway and endded up on the other side safely.  
"is that all you wanted me to do sir?"  
Biggs was opened mouth "what the-" he shouted, he ran across the hallway same way as Wedge and ended up upside down.  
"well..it can't get worse right" (Flamethrowers apear) "Fuck"  
Wedge had a difficult time descibing the events that transpirded as his eyes were closed, but he did pick up "AAAAAHHHHHHHH"  
"HELP" and ofcourse "DEAR SWEET MERCIFUL GOD!"

"Don't worry sir it could've been"  
(Anger) "don't say enuther word!"  
"r-right"

The finally arrived at the treasure room, it had only one treasure "a glowing black jewel.  
"there it is."  
"where?"  
"there"  
"where?"  
"open you eyes dammit!"  
"oh there"

"hold it"  
as he turned Biggs asked "is Phoenix Wright here?"

"no" a man wearing a SeeD uniform walked in, he carried a Scythe.  
"i am Duke Dimeris and i'll be taking that jewel!"

Not willing to give up his pize that easily, Biggs took a stand,  
"oh yeah lets see you try, i'm a ex-member of the Galbadian Military so i ca take many-"  
"OOOOOOOOH!"  
-Duke kicked Briggs in the crotch!-  
-It was super effective for 10000 damage!- 


	2. Chapter 2

Wedge watched as his commander fell to his knees, rithing and pain after recieving a hit to the part you never want to get hit.. and frankly he wasn't surprised.  
The SeeD Duke stepped forward and raised his sword twoards Wedge, "Are you going to stand in my way too?" he asked Wedge after two to three seconds, not only got out of the way but gave a gesture normally used when a door man says "come right on in Sir may i take your coat?" Duke seeing he was victorious strode past, almost strutting.  
By this time when he was half-way to the crystal Biggs recovered, he got up and shouted"alright now i'm mad!"  
Duke seemed to laugh at this "ha you think you can sop me hm, even if i don't disable you, i can still kill you wi- this isn't my sword?!"  
For in Dukes hands was a Plastic Paddle. "what? wheres my?" he looked to see Wedge holding his sword and twirling it like a ganster twirls a cane.  
"Looking for this?" he said confidently, Biggs was even abit surprised by this he quickly recovered though and stood beside Wedge who was holding his new sword.  
"Great job Wedge, when we get a job where i am superior to you, i'm raising your pay."  
"Thank you"  
"Also where'd you get the Paddle?"  
"Found it"  
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 "Irvine you ready"  
"Yeah Selphie(man i've been waiting for this forever, now where'd i put my paddle?)"  
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 The duo stood side by side aginst Duke,  
"This is your last chance SeeD, you can't take us witout your sword!"  
"i'll never give up!"  
"Very well, lets take em Wedge!"  
The two yelled as they they ran at Duke, Confidence radiated from them.  
(one minute later...Seems like confidence just aint enough.)  
"I can't Be-elieve he took us without his sword." Wedge said. the two were tied together as Duke strode next to them, pacing...deep in thought.  
Wedge curious on what his plans are now that he was right ext to the crystal, he asked Duke "so what are your plans?"  
Duke fell out of his trance and relized what he'd been asked smiled.  
"oh not much, just giving myself ultimate power, Ultimecia had the right idea to take the world over(that was her plan wasn't it?  
or was it complete inialation of the world? hmm).  
While Duke was lost in thought Wedge asked Biggs to reach for his Kitchen Knife(why a Galbadian Officer has a Kitchen knife is on of lifes mysteries)  
Biggs stabbed into the rope, almost stabbing Wedges hand.  
"hey watch were you stick that thing!"  
"Thats what she said"  
"really Sir? out of all times Really?  
after awile just as Duke came out of thinking, Wedge was free!(Biggs through the magic of stupidity had seemed to summon more ropes to entangle himself.)

As the two readied for a fist fight(Duke couldn't find his sword, and he wasn't going to pat them down for it.)  
Duke tried to be intimidating, but ruined it.  
"i'm going to get all up in that ass!"  
"What? Ew!"  
"no i mean that, oh forget it"  
They lundged at eachother, while that was going on(along with the ocassional,"take this!", "hahh" and also the universal word that could mean "your mother is a fat hippo!" and "i want to eat your foot!") Biggs was still trying to get untangled.  
then he spotted the crystal, thinking he could free himself with its magic, he ludgned for it.

Duke saw Biggs lunge for the crystal, he remembers himself shouting "the crystal shouldn't be touched without protection!"

then the world went black.  
00000000000000000000000000000000000000000

As Wedge came out of unconsciousness, he saw he was on a beach, next to him was Wedge,  
it embarrased him too see that it looked like they'd been cuddling while asleep "i'll just mark it on my list of -Never speak of this even in hell-" he said unintentionally outloud.  
Biggs woke up, rubbing his eyes under neath his goggles(does he ever take those off?)  
he rose and looked around "ha! i knew the crystal would get me free!" he looked around again before asking "hey Wedge, weres the SeeD gone too?"  
and didn't take long to find the answer as a girlish scream rang out from behind a bush.  
as the two looked behind it, they saw a girl with long brown hair, and brown eyes, her body was very attractive.  
if it was'nt for her SeeD uniform and the fact she was yelling "i'm a girl!? and where'd this skirt come from?"  
she also apeared to be tied up.

"Duke?" the two said in union. 


End file.
